3 Tips for Going Night Clubbing Alone – Aka ‘Going Solo’

January 3rd, 2013

It happens.

You had a big night out planned with your best buddy, and an hour or two before you were going to head out, for whatever reason he can’t make it anymore.

Alternatively, none of your friends like going to clubs / bars, but you do.

So what do you do? Do you stay at home and play with Mr. Winky, or do you head out?

If I want to go out and no one can make it, I’ll go out anyway. Fuck staying at home.. that’s not going to get me any action for the night.

So what are a few tips if you’re going out by yourself?

#1. Head out later – Avoid heading out at like 9 or 10pm if most of the bars/clubs in your area aren’t busy at that time, unless its a place that’s popular for after work drinks.  If the place isn’t busy, it will be pretty obvious that you’re by yourself, whereas later in the night (e.g. 12am) the club will be pumping.

#2. Talk to someone as soon as possible. I know this is hard for a lot of guys, and they aren’t going to open chicks immediately and will break the rule.  If that happens, just get a beer or one of your favourite drinks.  This is slightly anti “PUA” thinking – i.e. to not drink alcohol, though IMO you generally stand out in the wrong way if you’re by yourself in a club drinking water and not having fun whilst everyone else is.

#3. Go to a bar / club where you enjoy the music. If you can have a good time listening to the music and getting some rythym going even whilst off the dance floor, things will be much smoother for you.

#4 (ok adding in an extra one) – If worst comes to worst.. I.e. you really aren’t having a good time, then just go to another bar nearby.

Over and out.

Summary of 16 Mini Questions and Answers From 150 Women

April 21st, 2012

Interesting summary of 16 mini questions and answers from 150 women in valetmag. This is from the perspective that there doesn’t seem to be as much bullshit that you usually see in polls like this.

I do still suspect *some* bullshit in these stats – bascially because women are voting on ideally what they like/want – not actually what they get drawn to or do.

Anyway, good read – check it out here: http://www.valetmag.com/living/features/2010/the-female-perspective.php

Get Your Appearance Together

March 15th, 2012

Have you been trying to get a girlfriend for more than 6 months?

Have you been going out regularly and actually talking to girls?

Are you still single?

If you answered yes to the above 3 questions – let me ask you this – is there any part of you that thinks you could improve your appearance, but you tell yourself the story

‘Appearance isn’t important.. all that matters is verbal game. Besides, I regularly see short fat guys with hot chicks all the time’
If you answered yes to this… then get your act together my friend!!

Most women believe that appearance is important.  They want a guy they can introduce their friends to without feeling embarrassed.  Even if your verbal game is very strong, if you improve your appearance, you will notice a significant jump in your overall game.

The first place you might want to start is by getting a few new shirts, jeans and cool shoes.

This particularly applies to you if your wardrobe looks like its from the 80s, if you’re in college and you’re still wearing the clothes mummy bought you.

Sounds harsh but give it a try before you think it is BS.

If you’ve got a specific question you’d like to ask me re above, hit me up at charlie at girrlfriend dot com.

Kino Mistakes

February 16th, 2012

Ok so I thought I’d make a quick post on this as I have seen a few guys doing this lately and it has caused some rather weird interactions.

So many guys say ‘kino, kino, kino’ – kino that chick and you’ll get her home. Well, there’s some truth in that if you’re smooth and do it in a natural way and she is comfortable with it.  But when you’re first starting out, doing it in a natural way can be a bit tough.

The mistakes I commonly see with a newbie interacting with a chick he’s just met are these:

  1. Touching her face – keep out of her facial region – she’s probably spent some time on her makeup and will be pissed if you smudge it etc.!
  2. Touching / pulling her hair  – keep out of her hair – she’s probably also spent some time doing her hair – perhaps even been at the hairdresser that day and spent $100+ on it – again, treading fine territory doing this
  3. Touching her lower body / thigh  in a short period of time without having touched hands, arm, lower back  etc. first.  If you look at it from a natural kino escalation process – it is weird to be touching a chick on her lower body before touching her upper body.  If you can touch her lower body – e.g. thigh then great – but best to do so for a short period (e.g. a second or two) and prior to this you should certainly have touched her hands (e.g. hand shake), forearm (she tells you a story – ‘oh you’re kidding!’), lower waist (when you’re moving with her to another area of the club).  Then later it will be much more smooth touching her thigh etc.

As you get more experienced, you’ll find that there can be exceptions to the above – though in terms of playing ‘solid game’ – you’ll be best off avoiding those 3 mistakes above.

How To Get a One Night Stand – Key #2

January 4th, 2012

The second key to getting a one night stand is having the right mindset.

What does having the right mindset mean?

First of all, to realise that it is possible for you to have a one night stand with a woman in the first place.

The reality is that the majority of girls are going to have at least one, one night stand in their life – why can’t you be that guy?

Secondly, you want to not be judgemental of women, and realisie that they’re people too and enjoy sex just as much as you do, if not more! Many women want a one night stand, and many women don’t.

Why do women have one night stands? Well, it can be for a number of reasons, such as any one or more of the following:

  1. They just want to have a bit of fun
  2. They’re stressed and want a release
  1. They’re lonely
  1. They think you’re pretty cool and think if they have sex with you, you’ll
  1. They haven’t had sex for a while and you’re good enough for them right now
  1. Their boyfriend cheated on them and they want to ‘get back at him’
  1. Many other reasons!

Again, with having the right mindset, you want to avoid setting any expectations of being her boyfriend if you are just planning to bang her and not see her again.  Why? Well, because…

  1. She’ll see straight through you bullshit if you do say that you want to and don’t mean it
  2. She may not actually want a boyfriend at the moment and is just testing that you won’t get too attached to her

Sure, you may miss out on a couple of girls if you tell them the truth and say that you don’t want to be their boyfriend, though in the long run you will have far more success.

Being OK with No and Keeping Your Frame

December 10th, 2011

Let me share with you the biggest tip that changed my game: being ok with no

So the tip is this: If you open a chick, what’s the worst that can happen? She can turn you down right?

Well the good news is that if she turns you down and is rude about it, you now have something you can respond with

“Wow… you’re pretty aggressive.. I like that.  It’s not often I meet a girl that is as forthcoming as you.”

Perhaps don’t copy it word for word or you’re getting into the ‘canned material’ zone.. Just take the concept.

The concept is this: You can be ok with a no response – and she’s kinda weird if she turns you down – and you’re effectively communicating that.  It’s as if you’re saying ‘not many chicks turn me down – what’s up with you?’ without saying those exact words.  I’ve actually used this on a number of women that have initially shot me down, and then I’ve either ended up talking with them for at least another 10 minutes  and danced/drank with them, and in a few cases banged them.

It’s certainly better than just walking away from them and having a cry :)

The worst thing now becomes if she actually doesn’t respond at all -  if she completely ignores you though there are still a few things you can do and I’ll talk about it in a future post.

 

Stay tuned,

Charlie.

Setting Realistic Short-Term Expectations and Actually Getting Laid

December 9th, 2011

If I were to ask you the following questions, what would you respond with?

  • Have you been laid within the last few weeks? If not, are you being too picky?
  • If you walk into a club and didn’t have to do any work to get a cute/just above average chick – would you bang her? Or would you turn her down because she’s not a ’9 or a 10′
  • If she did all the work and jumped on your lap – would you take your pants off and seal the deal? Or would you have some mental block that says ‘hooking up with girls is meant to be hard work. This is too easy.. Something’s not right here’

I encourage you to ask yourself the questions above and set some realistic short term expectations so you can have better results in the long-term.

Charlie.

My Biggest Dating/Pick-Up Mistakes – Part 1

December 7th, 2011

The biggest mistake I made when first starting out, was to use canned material for far too long.

What’s ‘canned material’ – using other people’s stories, openers and routines – rather than your own.

Examples of what I used to use are:

  • “Hey I need a female opinion on something…”
    • Who lies more? Guys or girls
    • Two 6′ SUPER HOT girls were fighting over a 4′ midget outside! Can you believe it? What’s up with that?
    • Do you believe in ESP? (Her: )What’s ESP? (You: ) Think of a number between 1 and 4? What did you guess? 3?

When you think about it – some of the above are kinda weird – a common question I used to get when I used them years and years (and years) ago was: “Why are you asking us this?” and the thing is that it just seemed out of place.

These days there’s another reason not to use canned lines like above: warning bells will flash in a chicks head if she has any clue – as there has been a lot of publicity about the above lines and associated books.

If you are using some kind of canned material right now, that’s cool though I would encourage you to consider to start using your own material at the right time.  Just don’t use it for 2 to 3 years like I did :)

Charlie.

Not being a ‘yes man’ and holding your frame

December 6th, 2011

Women like men with balls.

That means a man that can stand up for himself and isn’t a pussy.

It doesn’t mean a guy that needs to pick fights with others – and quite the contrary as that usually shows anger, and underlying anger is insecurity – and a guy that is not secure with himself and is a pussy is not cool. (side note: it is good to show insecurity/vulnerability sometimes – e.g. when you’re in bed after banging her)

What it does mean is a guy that can hold his frame and is willing to disagree with a girl and tell her no or not try and be the same with her on everything.

A simple example of this is a conversation that is going well and they’re talking about music.

She might like RnB and Hip-hop and he might actually like rock music.

Guy with No balls/a pussy: ‘Oh cool, yeah I like all music. RnB is my favourite too though.’ (when it actually isn’t)

Man: ‘Oh cool, yeah RnB is nice.. I used to listen to that quite a bit before, I’m pretty into Alternative/Rock music these days though. Actually what got me into it was that I watched the biography of Bono on YouTube.. It was just incredible, you know he…  ‘

Her: ‘Oh, wow.. I didn’t know that ! Actually.. I like Bono too..’

Basically the pussy is saying he likes the same as her when he doesn’t really.  If he actually DID like RnB it would be fine as it’s the truth.

Chicks will know when you’re spinning shit – they have an ultra strong BS detector – so be a man, tell her what you really like though just do it in a cool manner.

Charlie.

Overcoming Shyness when Opening / Approach Anxiety – Trick #1

December 5th, 2011

The first trick for overcoming shyness  when opening, or ‘approach anxiety’ is to talk to sales assistants.

Sales assistants are paid to talk with you – they need to sell you stuff!

Step 1: Walk into a department store – e.g JCP, Macy’s

Step 2: When the sales assistant asks if they can help you, rather than saying you’re “just browsing” or “just looking”, see if they can actually help you – e.g. “It’s my sister’s birthday next week, and I’m looking for a present for her, what could you recommend?”

They’ll ask you something like:

  • How old is your sister?
  • What does she usually like?
  • What does she do?

Make sure you can answer the questions and keep the answers as real as possible.

If you don’t have a sister, don’t bullshit – just say your mom or dad instead.

So which section of the department store should you go to?

  • Electronics section – TV, DVD, audio, computers
  • Book section

Who should you talk to?

  • Well, if a sales assistant approaches you first – just ask them if they can help you find that present for your sister/mom/dad
  • If no one approaches you, and if you’re not really comfortable with talking to average looking chicks – maybe choose a lady about your mom’s age, or a dude – don’t try to hit on them or anything, just talk to them like regular people and ask for their help.
  • If you are generally comfortable talking with average looking chicks – you might want to try the electronics section first and choose an average looking chick first, and then perhaps find a hotter looking one
  • Repeat above until you:
    • Feel comfortable enough to walk into the women’s clothing section and get one of the assistant’s to help you find a present for your sister or ‘girlfriend’.
    • Once you get good at this, then you can say ‘actually, I don’t really have a girlfriend – I just thought you were cute and wanted to talk with you. My name is <name> …’

Step 3: What else can you talk to them about?

Once they’ve given you some help, feel free to ask them:

  • How their day is going?
  • Anything crazy happen in store today?
  • What’s popular / what are they selling a lot of at the moment?

So hopefully that helps in giving you a free way to help get over your shyness.

P.S  Just stay away from the lingerie section if you say you’re shopping for a family member… or they’ll think you’re an inbred hippie :)

Charlie.